Well it's been 48 hours and we have been pacifier free here! The first day was rough. We had two episodes (one in the middle of the night and one during a nap) where Liam screamed for an hour before he crashed and fell asleep. The other times it took about 15-20 minutes to get him to sleep. The first night he woke about 4 times- so even a bit better than with the pacifier. Day 2 he settled after about 5 minutes. Last night was even better yet...get ready for this. For the first time EVER, he slept from 7pm to 3:00 a.m. I fed him a bottle at 3, and then he went right back to sleep until 6am! This is the first time that he and I got a night of good sleep in 4 months. I can't even explain how happy I am. I also can't explain what this feels like since I have been a zombie for 4 months now. I am not getting excited that this is a trend in fear of jinxing it. So we will see if it happens again. I think God (and Liam) knew I was at a breaking point. I am starting to feel sick from the lack of sleep and stress- swollen glands, white on my tonsils, headache, etc....I so needed the night of sleep so that I can stop myself from getting sick. Moms do not have time to be sick! So, I got a good night's rest and can tackle today with bright eyes for once!
So hopefully from here on out we will remain pacifier free and stick to our guns on healthy sleep habits. I do know that seeing Liam at 6am after a good night's rest, he looked and seemed more alert and happy too. It was a hard decision to take away the pacifier from the little guy. I even shed a few tears on that first day knowing that I was the one causing him to be so upset, but with the support of Joe and our Pediatrician I knew it had to be done. A couple of times I thought about giving in to avoid the screaming and tears, but once I started the process I knew I couldn't stop! Sometimes as a parent you need to make decisions that are hard, but you know it's in the best interest of your family. When it comes to parenting, everyone has different opinions about what you should and shouldn't do. It's hard not to feel bad or get wrapped up in what everyone else says....the various "do this, don't do that" or "this is what I did" just confuse you even more. However, I am so glad that I stuck to my guns on this and didn't let anything else influence me. No matter how hard this week is on Liam, on me, and on our family, we will be happier in the long run. And you can all stop hearing about my endless nights of no sleep! It's getting old isn't it??? :)
I do have to say there is no way I could have done this process without Braden being such a good toddler. He is so patient. On Monday I was in Liam's room for an hour trying to soothe him, and I would pop my head out every 10 minutes to check on Braden. He was quietly sitting in the loft area watching cartoons, reading books and brushing his teeth. What a guy we have. I could have come out to colored on walls or who knows what....and his sense of humor and silliness have made me keep it together on hard days! What a lucky Mom I am. These boys are amazing.
Someone once told me that having children was like having your heart outside of your body. Your heart is out there, walking around in the form of a little one. I totally agree with this. When they say or do cute things your heart melts. When they are hurt or sad, your heart strings are tugged. You want to protect them from all the bad in the world. You also feel so guilty when you have to make decisions that might make them sad, frustrated or angry. Although it's the most rewarding and fulfilling experience of my life, sometimes it is just plain ol' hard to be a Mom (of course I mean a parent in general, I am not dissing the Dads out there- just speaking from my side.) :)
I am learning so much as a Mom of young kiddos. I am sure so many more lessons to come!