- Irish Eyes
- I am a Mom of two young lads, a fitness fanatic and wife to a die-hard Packers/Brewers fan. I worked in corporate america for 12 years. Now I am on a new adventure - raising my sons and working part-time in the fitness industry as a Personal Trainer and Group Exercise Instructor. I hope you stop by and read my updates- family, fitness, or life related!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Yearly Letter to Mom
Each year on or around the anniversary of my Mom's death, (which is also Joe's b-day, Aug. 3) I write her a letter. I just started this tradition a few years ago on the tenth anniversary. I share it with my family, but haven't shared it with many others before. I will put it on my blog each year now.
This is the thirteenth year that she hasn't been with us. I have a lot to tell her this year, and this letter is my way of just dedicating some time and thoughts to her. It really feels like I am having a conversation with her. I know she sees and hears everything that is going on in my life anyway, but I write this letter as a way to reach out even more and feel a close connection to her. Enjoy!!! You may want a Kleenex close by if you are feeling a little sappy when reading this.
August 3, 2009
Today is the thirteenth anniversary of your death. There is not a single year, let alone a day, or even week that goes by that I don’t think of you.
I look back at the past letters that I have written you. On the tenth anniversary I told you that I met Joe. On the eleventh anniversary I told you I was engaged to be married. On the twelfth, I told you I was happily married. Of course, you don’t need these letters to know what is going on in my life because I know you are with me each step of the way.
This year, the thirteenth anniversary, I have exciting news once again. I am going to be a Mom! Just typing that sounds strange to me – something I am not used to yet and may not get used to until the baby has arrived in late September. However, knowing that I am going to be a Mom makes me feel even closer to you. I am tied to you forever – you are my Mother. Now, I am going to be a Mom – which will tie my child to me forever as well. I feel closer to you because I get to fulfill a role that you are to me! Now I can experience what you went through as a Mom and use the things that I learned from you.
What I really want to tell you this year is that it is my goal in life to be as good of a Mom that you were to me. I cannot even begin to explain how wonderful you were to me, and all of us for that matter. You were kind, loving, funny, sincere, always there, supportive, fun and most of all you were a best friend too. You never judged and you always trusted. I could tell you things in confidence. I looked forward to hanging out with you. You were my role model. You put your kids first, but you also had a life of your own: a career, friends, etc… There was not a minute where I doubted your love for me. Actually, I thought your love for each one of us was overflowing. I could tell how great your love was for me each and every day - from each time I called you at work after school and you answered the phone, “How is my Pina Colada today?” to all the times you asked me, “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
I aspire to be a spectacular mom just like you. I think back to the last moments that I had with you. Those last few days you could barely look at me because it was so hard for you to leave your little baby all alone – I hadn’t finished college yet. But, I told you at the end that it was okay to go because you were the best mom anyone could ever ask for and I was lucky to have had you as mine for 21 years. I didn’t want to see you in pain anymore, but it was the hardest thing I have ever done – telling you it’s okay to let go. I selfishly wanted you to stay. Even though I was so mad that you were taken from me and I had no idea how to deal with that, I did know that not all people could be as lucky as me to have you for 21 years – even if the time was cut short.
I hope that my kids have your spirit and your personality. I hope that I can be as great of a Mom to them as you were to me. I hope that I can teach them all about you and they can know you. Please be with me as I embark on this journey as I know I can’t do it without you. I love you and miss you more than words can say.
Your Pina Colada,